Read Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live Love Parent and Lead Brené Brown 8601200649192 Books

Product details Hardcover 304 pages Publisher Avery; 1 edition (September 11, 2012) Language English ISBN-10 1592407331

Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live Love Parent and Lead Brené Brown 8601200649192 Books Reviews

• Growing up in a household where obedience is won through criticism, belittling and shaming, it's little wonder I reached adult hood in a poor state of mind and body. With no self-esteem or confidence and full of toxic shame, I wasn't happy with myself in any shape or form. I truly disliked myself, and felt as if everyone else did too. I was a HUGE perfectionist, and very, very hard on myself.
  
  Though I am still a work in progress (I'm 22 currently), I can look back and see how far I've come, and it is all thanks to Brene Brown her books, her Ted talks, her program, etc. This is my favorite book of hers, though.
  
  If you don't feel worthy of love and belonging, if you feel lesser than everyone else; if you can't forgive yourself for your mistakes or your terrible moments or the stupid things you've done in life; if you can't accept your humanness; if you can't show your face or eyes to others due to shame; if you can't own up to your mistakes for fear of judgement; if you compare yourself to others; if you constantly strive to prove yourself to others but feel as if you never measure up; then this book is for you.
  
  I have read it through and then listened to the whole book about 3 times. I need to be reminded again and again what it means to Dare Greatly, as I have lived most of my life hiding and trying to protect myself. Every time I hear the words in this book, I can't help but say "Yes! Yes! Yes!" over and over again. It all makes such simple sense. I also cannot hear Brene's words - in book or talks - without crying, because they are some of the most beautiful words to my ears there ever was.
  
  We are not in this alone, and our worth is not something that can be measured.
  
  I am planning to get some of her books this Christmas for my family, who all badly need to hear her message and don't bother to look her up despite my urging. I will also have all her books on my shelf someday when I have kids, for them to all read as they are growing up, so that they don't grow up in fear, with low self-worth and full of shame, and to also give them the courage to dare greatly. (Of course I will parent differently than I was raised, and that will make a difference. ;) )
  
  I would give this book a 10 star rating if I could.
• This book was life changing for me. I'd already read Gifts of Imperfection, and have been struggling with having healthy boundaries with a psychologically unhealthy parent.
  
  This book did an amazing job of helping me understand the difference between sharing vulnerability in ways that lead to connection and over-sharing in ways intended to manipulate an audience - and why that oversharing has always led to disconnection.
  
  For the men out there - I'd recommend starting with this book (rather than gifts of imperfection) as Brown broadens her research to include men here. And I really liked the way this book works through so many interesting topics and challenging scenarios.
  
  One of my favorite parts is on professing love vs practicing love (below). It made me appreciate that when someone tells me they love me, then treats me badly, that it isn't really love at all.
  
  <i>During a recent radio interview about my research, the hosts (my friends Ian and Margery) asked me, “Can you love someone and cheat on them or treat them poorly?”
  
  I didn’t have much time, so I gave the best answer I could based on my work “I don’t know if you can love someone and betray them or be cruel to them, but I do know that when you betray someone or behave in an unkind way toward them, you are not practicing love. And, for me, I don’t just want someone who says they love me, I want someone who practices that love for me every day.”</i>
• Last week I was sitting outside a coffee shop reading a book on my kindle when a youngish guy walked by carrying a coffee and a computer, looking for a place to sit.
  
  Since all of the tables were occupied and he was looking a bit displaced, I offered him a seat at my table. Relieved, he sat down and expressed his gratitude. I promptly went back to my reading but I could feel his eyes boring into me as I anticipated the dreaded question.
  
  "What are you reading?" he finally blurted.
  
  Now I know this is neither a profound nor earth-shattering inquiry but there were two problems at hand here.
  
  One, I'm terrible at summarizing books. Just awful. (Which you're about to discover.) There's just something about the vast amount of information that I'm pressured to wrap into one or two sentences that completely overwhelms and paralyzes me.
  
  And two, I was reading a book about shame and vulnerability. Which ironically, I was ashamed to admit for fear of being vulnerable. Clearly, I had just started reading the book.
  
  Part of me was tempted to lie to youngish guy by replying, "oh, it's just some silly novel."
  
  But then it occurred to me how shameful it would be to lie about reading a book about shame and vulnerability instead of just being vulnerable. Besides, as I'm sure it's obvious--I could use the practice.
  
  "I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. It's about shame and vulnerability and how shame can truly only dissipate by allowing yourself to be vulnerable", I quickly blurted.
  
  Allowing myself to be vulnerable led Patrick and I into a conversation for the next hour. Patrick, if you're reading this, c'était une joie pour vous rencontrer. (If this is wrong I blame Google translate.)
  
  This moment of unabashed vulnerability with Patrick was the beginning of a major shift in my life. And I have Daring Greatly to thank for that.*
  
  I've always been one to be honest and open but Brene Brown's writing in Daring Greatly takes openness to another level.
  
  She reinforces what I've known all along but been afraid of admitting--that vulnerability leads to happiness. Or as Brown calls it, "wholeheartedness".
  
  And I, and maybe you too, could damn well use some wholeheartedness in my life.
  
  We're living in a culture of `never enough'. I'm certainly feeling it. Are you? I never work hard enough, I don't help others enough, I'm not successful enough, I don't eat healthy enough... and on and on.
  
  These thoughts of `never enough' turn into feelings of shame and fear. How do we combat shame and fear? By being vulnerable and expressing gratitude, according to Brené Brown. And now, according to me.
  
  Following Brene's advice and expertise garnered through her research and life stories, truly does work.
  
  It was the reading of Daring Greatly that prompted me to finally divulge my long kept secret of my history with an eating disorder; which wound up being my highest trafficked blog post of all time. As Brown explains, we're drawn to other's vulnerability but repelled by our own.
  
  Are you living with shame? Do you always feel an underlying itch of `never enough'? Do you find yourself disconnecting from people you love? If any of these questions ring true then I hope you'll read this book for yourself. Even if they don't ring true, read this book. It truly is a game changer.
  
  Buy It Right. This. Minute. Sit your butt down for an hour, and start reading. I promise you won't want to stop. I promise.Then come back to me and practice your newfound vulnerability. I'll appreciate and love every drop of the real you. And eventually, you will too. That's the truth.
  
  [...]
  *If you'll note the vulnerability here in that I'm attempting to review a book, despite my fear of reviewing books.